Dear God, I Want a Bat-Phone!

ImageDear God,

I’m pretty sure this prayer is not theologically correct but knowing you have never been afraid of misguided, but honest seekers, I am daring this prayer.  Please, God, I want a Bat-phone.  Yes, you heard right…a Bat-Phone. Continue reading “Dear God, I Want a Bat-Phone!”

Fatherly Advice: Life Isn’t Always What it Seems

ImageAdolescence is a time of change. One of the things that will change is the gravity of your decisions. In today’s world, you have the power to make life-altering decisions before you can drive. You will move from having to choose between Fruity Pebbles and Coco-Puffs to big, life-changing decisions about God, humanity, authority, relationships, sex, money, and education. Previous generations had the benefit of a culture that correctly interpreted reality and a family structure that insured the lessons learned from previous generations could be passed down to up and comers. Today, our culture does not give you a genuine picture of reality. It reflects reality with all the accuracy of a fun-house mirror. It tells you evil is good and up is down. Couple this with a fractured and itinerant family structure — and hormones – you have a volatile mixture. Continue reading “Fatherly Advice: Life Isn’t Always What it Seems”

#*%#*! A Primer on Profanity

ImageNot long ago I took a call from a man selling investments. Intrigued by the call, I asked him to give me the name of a few stocks he had invested in so I could track his success and evaluate the plan he was selling. (I suspected he didn’t invest in this wonderful plan). He said, “I don’t need to give you my stocks because our investment planners will create a custom portfolio for you for only x-hundred dollars.” We went back and forth for a few minutes and then he snapped. He unleashed a string of profanity and language I hadn’t heard since high-school (and some words I think he invented.).  He questioned my manhood, my sex life, and my ability to provide for my children. He left no stone unturned looking for the key to getting me to purchase this fantastic plan. This went on for twenty minutes. My only regret is that I didn’t record it.  Why didn’t I hang up? I guess I was entertained in some strange way, like watching an arrest. Continue reading “#*%#*! A Primer on Profanity”

Please Unplug Me

ImageDear Mom and Dad,

I am hesitant to write you this letter. I know I need to but there is a part of me that likes having you ignorant. I enjoy the freedom your distracted indifference provides me but I also see a different kind of prison forming around me and well… I need your help. Continue reading “Please Unplug Me”