Dear Daughter, Lets Talk About Boys and Clothes, Pt. 2

modesty pic alli

Dear Daughter,

I want to follow up with our previous conversation about clothes. Recall that I mentioned spring is arriving and with it proms, passions, and new fashions. You’re old enough now to be aware of the world around you. You may have noticed that the world contains funny, awkward, smelly and sometimes cute boys. These creatures have weird powers to influence you to dress, talk, or act certain ways. I’m writing this short series of notes to let you in on the secret mind of the male as it relates to how you dress and act. Most girls do not understand what I am about to tell you. Consequently, they dress, talk, and act in ways that will cause the opposite effect they are going for. I want to share with you what guys think about what girls wear and give you insight into the positive power of modesty.

God has gifted you with the power of femininity.  The power to inspire, motivate, and encourage. To use your God-given femininity to refresh the world around you and lift others up.   This power, value, and dignity is the target of a cultural attack that wants to steal natural beauty and innocence from you by eliminating your sense of modesty and decorum. Don’t let them define you. You are valuable enough as a person without having to show parts of your body to people who have not one shred of investment into your life.  Save that for someone who has made a life-long covenant to lay down their life for your well- being and growth.

Now, what I am about to tell you is one of the most closely guarded secrets in the realm of masculinity.  This is one of those instincts that God wired us with and you won’t hear this in too many other places.   What guys value they cover. What they don’t they won’t So when we see something covered, we naturally think “This is to be valued and protected, loved and cherished.” When we see something uncovered, we naturally think, “This is to be played with, possibly mistreated, and destroyed for my pleasure.”

Even from when we were little boys, we had this in us.  Boys collect things.  We collect bugs, reptiles, comic books, and sports cards.   The sports cards that we loved — our favorite players or the ones that had some real value — we covered.  We put them in little plastic covers so they wouldn’t be damaged.  If our little brother got a hold of them, we would wrestle him down to protect that precious card.

The ones we didn’t care about? Well, we did other things with those.  We put them in the spokes of our bikes to make it sound like we had a motorcycle.   Oh, it would destroy the card, but it sure made our bikes sound cool!

Take cars, for example. Most guys like cars.  They are attracted to different kinds of cars.  Every summer there are thousands of guys that flock to the fairgrounds to see cars smashed up in the demolition derby until the last one is running.  I love it!  These cars are playthings.  They are to be used abused for our pleasure and fun, then thrown away so we can get another one.

And then there are other cars we also like. Classic, beautiful, expensive sports cars.  If a guys is fortunate enough to get one of these.  You can tell.  They walk around with a smile on their face.  They think often of her and give it a special name.  They speak about her in hushed and reverent tones.  You won’t find him entering THAT car into the demolition derby.  In fact, when he invites you over to see it, you will approach his house and not see the car because it will be covered by the garage.  Maybe even a separate garage built just for the car.  You will open the garage door and the first thing you see will not be the car, it will be the cover.  Upon removing the cover, you will see the car.  This is a car he values, cherishes, he protects.mustang

Which car would you rather be?  The demolition derby car or the highly valued sports car?   Your dress and demeanor as a young woman will trigger one of these two instincts in a guy.  What they see uncovered, they think, “toy to be destroyed for my pleasure.”  What they see covered, they think “valuable, worthy of protection, something I want to keep.”  Now keep this in mind as well.  Some boys don’t have the maturity or character to appreciate the valuable car.  Don’t be surprised if THOSE kind of boys walk away when you won’t let them play with you like a derby car.  They will, unfortunately, spend their lives destroying rather than covering those around them.  I’m just trying to make sure you are not included in that mix.

What does that mean to you?  Simply this:  If you want to be valued, dress modestly.  If you want to be thought of as cheap, low-end, bargain goods to be played with and then discarded – well – dress immodestly.

How you act and how you dress is an outward reflection of an inward heart.  A pure heart, will come out in a pure dress.  A heart to please God over what the herd in our culture is dressing like will show in your dress.   A heart that cares about honoring God more than trying to fit in, is very rare. Because it is rare, those who possess it are very attractive indeed.

You are beautiful like a rose.  You cannot force a rose to bloom, but I’ve seen many a beautiful young lady try to rush the process of growing up.  They try to force open the bud but they only destroy it in the process.  If you will be patient, learn to honor God with your heart which will be reflected in your dress and conduct, your beauty will unfold in God’s time and your fragrance will enrich the world.

 

Love,

Dad

 

 

 

Dear Daughter, Lets Talk About Boys and Clothes, Pt. 2

modesty pic alli

Dear Daughter,

I want to follow up with our previous conversation about clothes. Recall that I mentioned spring is arriving and with it proms, passions, and new fashions. You’re old enough now to be aware of the world around you. You may have noticed that the world contains funny, awkward, smelly and sometimes cute boys. These creatures have weird powers to influence you to dress, talk, or act certain ways. I’m writing this short series of notes to let you in on the secret mind of the male as it relates to how you dress and act. Most girls do not understand what I am about to tell you. Consequently, they dress, talk, and act in ways that will cause the opposite effect they are going for. I want to share with you what guys think about what girls wear and give you insight into the positive power of modesty.

God has gifted you with the power of femininity.  The power to inspire, motivate, and encourage. To use your God-given femininity to refresh the world around you and lift others up.   This power, value, and dignity is the target of a cultural attack that wants to steal natural beauty and innocence from you by eliminating your sense of modesty and decorum. Don’t let them define you. You are valuable enough as a person without having to show parts of your body to people who have not one shred of investment into your life.  Save that for someone who has made a life-long covenant to lay down their life for your well- being and growth.

Now, what I am about to tell you is one of the most closely guarded secrets in the realm of masculinity.  This is one of those instincts that God wired us with and you won’t hear this in too many other places.   What guys value they cover. What they don’t they won’t So when we see something covered, we naturally think “This is to be valued and protected, loved and cherished.” When we see something uncovered, we naturally think, “This is to be played with, possibly mistreated, and destroyed for my pleasure.”

Even from when we were little boys, we had this in us.  Boys collect things.  We collect bugs, reptiles, comic books, and sports cards.   The sports cards that we loved — our favorite players or the ones that had some real value — we covered.  We put them in little plastic covers so they wouldn’t be damaged.  If our little brother got a hold of them, we would wrestle him down to protect that precious card.

The ones we didn’t care about? Well, we did other things with those.  We put them in the spokes of our bikes to make it sound like we had a motorcycle.   Oh, it would destroy the card, but it sure made our bikes sound cool!

Take cars, for example. Most guys like cars.  They are attracted to different kinds of cars.  Every summer there are thousands of guys that flock to the fairgrounds to see cars smashed up in the demolition derby until the last one is running.  I love it!  These cars are playthings.  They are to be used abused for our pleasure and fun, then thrown away so we can get another one.

And then there are other cars we also like. Classic, beautiful, expensive sports cars.  If a guys is fortunate enough to get one of these.  You can tell.  They walk around with a smile on their face.  They think often of her and give it a special name.  They speak about her in hushed and reverent tones.  You won’t find him entering THAT car into the demolition derby.  In fact, when he invites you over to see it, you will approach his house and not see the car because it will be covered by the garage.  Maybe even a separate garage built just for the car.  You will open the garage door and the first thing you see will not be the car, it will be the cover.  Upon removing the cover, you will see the car.  This is a car he values, cherishes, he protects.mustang

Which car would you rather be?  The demolition derby car or the highly valued sports car?   Your dress and demeanor as a young woman will trigger one of these two instincts in a guy.  What they see uncovered, they think, “toy to be destroyed for my pleasure.”  What they see covered, they think “valuable, worthy of protection, something I want to keep.”  Now keep this in mind as well.  Some boys don’t have the maturity or character to appreciate the valuable car.  Don’t be surprised if THOSE kind of boys walk away when you won’t let them play with you like a derby car.  They will, unfortunately, spend their lives destroying rather than covering those around them.  I’m just trying to make sure you are not included in that mix.

What does that mean to you?  Simply this:  If you want to be valued, dress modestly.  If you want to be thought of as cheap, low-end, bargain goods to be played with and then discarded – well – dress immodestly.

How you act and how you dress is an outward reflection of an inward heart.  A pure heart, will come out in a pure dress.  A heart to please God over what the herd in our culture is dressing like will show in your dress.   A heart that cares about honoring God more than trying to fit in, is very rare. Because it is rare, those who possess it are very attractive indeed.

You are beautiful like a rose.  You cannot force a rose to bloom, but I’ve seen many a beautiful young lady try to rush the process of growing up.  They try to force open the bud but they only destroy it in the process.  If you will be patient, learn to honor God with your heart which will be reflected in your dress and conduct, your beauty will unfold in God’s time and your fragrance will enrich the world.

 

Love,

Dad